chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
