so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
