I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
