Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
