i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
