is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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