and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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