she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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