Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
