My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize