just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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