Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my shit smells like andre
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
