Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If that was your dad, he is hot
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
