do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
