my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
