I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
