I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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