there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
