My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
