Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
