guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
