shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
