you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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