Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
