But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
