I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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