Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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