it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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