Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize