I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
