You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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