Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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