Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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