So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
