i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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