After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
