I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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