69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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