I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
