she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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