i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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