just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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