dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
