What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
