its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
how does that bad decision feel?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
