good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
