Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
