Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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