And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize