i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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