We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
