Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
