I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
