Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
