god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize