next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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