I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
