Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
